Retreat

Tardy of me but this is the first for a while and first of 2022. Year of the Tiger and the winds here seems to have the breath of the dragon. For me it has been a tricky time. 

Guessing, few locals would think anything of how i have felt, at all unusual, but last winter - all bright cold and stunning - since christmas the nothing but swiftly changing rain, wind, rain, sleet, more rain and then snow, an uninvited natural introspection descended.  Mountains look implacably majestic with a smattering of icing sugar on their peaks but we have seen mud - mud! Where’s the clean peaty boots of last year?

I could attribute my mood to the tail of Covid, actually catching it after a fleeting visit elsewhere, the closure of the cafes for their winter break or lack of sufficient proper relaxation - in the end - i still call it mystery.

The meaning of retreat is not a spa holiday in the bahamas or a middle class resort chanting in Berkshire - tho surely they have their place - but withdrawal from the world. Here that is the challenge in a way from the very strength of the land. I never know wether I’m just not super human enough not to occasionally be overwhelmed by ill health or I have just simply not lived well enough - not eaten enough kale. Expectation of one’s self running high?

The missing of friends, although they’re impossibly dear, familiar places and comfortable habits was not enough to keep my wandering spirit at bay. It’s so much easier to feel whole some when the sun shines as it is right now, hills, across loch ewe revealing their coat of sage and amber, studded with pine forests. Distant dog barking - i know that dog - the new becoming familiar -  I know it’s good and timely to be here.